Why Kaz Loves Rhonda

We at Kaz Rhonda have been engaging in the lost art of investigative journalism, and have uncovered documentary evidence of why Kaz so treasures the honor of having Rhonda as his mate. Here is some of what we’ve learned. For the rest, you may have to turn to Wikileaks…

The Pros of Rhonda

My dating profile didn’t talk about hair size or breast color, not walks on the beach or favorite music. It was a list of things that I “am seeking and offer” as traits for a loving, positive, successful relationship. Rhonda matches all of it, and more that I had not hoped to find.

  • I trust her.
    • Sometimes any of us can struggle to express ourselves on a given issue, but she is a rare person whom I can count on to share with me anything important, and who is willing to allow me to earn her trust. The deeper the trust and honesty in a relationship, the better it can work
  • Some people believe that even mates should have secrets from each other. But Rhonda agrees that truly being able and willing to share anything, is real intimacy, a vital part of love. She offers me a depth of honesty I treasure more than I can express here.
  • Honesty and openness could simply bring strife and argument, if there were not a sincere effort to understand and empathize. You don’t start out in agreement for every situation. But I can trust Rhonda with my feelings and thoughts.
    • Even if we don’t start out on the same page, she will always seek to understand my feelings and position and help me understand hers, so that we can reach true union in our hearts and minds.
  • Would any of the above truly be possible, if we could not trust in each other’s good motivations and intentions?
    • Rhonda will take the time to understand a person’s feelings and motivations as a real human being. Even ones who seem like villains to me. But she uses this superpower to even greater effect when looking into my own oft-blundering actions, to recognize that I still mean well and will continue to improve myself in a quest to be worthy of having her as my mate.
  • Speaking of worthiness, I am a great catch, but far from perfect. Sure, I’m strikingly handsome, amazingly brilliant, and perfectly humble, but I also get caught up in things and fail to text or call in a timely fashion, observe the humor and irony in all things at all times (ergo including the wrong ones), I’m a terrible housekeeper, and other, like, totally awesome things like that.
    • And she puts up with me, even somehow loves me, and sees through all of that to whatever good traits I actually have. Which may be as important as any other relationship trait, now that I think of it, because it’s necessary for the rest to work out at all.
  • We run out of time to do things when we’re together, because being in each other’s arms is so wonderful that I could spend all day that way. When she is with me, the terrible, worrisome world becomes a safer, more peaceful place.
  • I have the perfect sense of humor. Perfect for her, that is. Unlike so many exes, she finds my sublimely silly semantic soliloques to be superb. This is because of her absolutely, brilliantly discriminating taste and judgement. This I choose to believe.
  • In my own personal lingo and head canon, Sentience is a measure of how much one is self-programming and self-aware. Instead of letting one’s environment program them at random, a sentient person takes responsibility for deciding who they are.
    • Rhonda has chosen to be a good, wise person. She shares the same kind of joy of learning and self-improvement that I have and never really expected to find in a mate. We plan to spend the rest of our lives growing and learning, together. We’re shooting for about three centuries…we’re not greedy.
  • In keeping with the theme of the previous item, her genius IQ and deep-level sentience has allowed her to come up with exactly the most sensible overall range of music, movies, books, and such…which just so happens to intersect well with my own, without being mere duplication, so that we can endlessly share in our life experiences, talking or debating, re-experiencing favorite stuff or showing each other something new. This is another thing that makes us run out of the precious time we spend together. Our list of shows to watch, alone, will require most of the three centuries promised.
  • In fact, that last bit is a good point: In hoping I could find a mate, I set the high standards of just finding a person who understood that two people who are open, honest, and positive can CREATE a relationship, even if they don’t have anything much in common at the start. I didn’t really think I’d find someone like myself. Surely two such people would be much for one planet.
    • But Rhonda and I are a 99% match in OKCupid’s insanely elaborate match system that contains thousands of questions. I was prepared to settle for a good mate, having nothing in common…because I’m either weird are just too spiffy to be understood by others…but Rhonda is exactly that strangely splendiferous. We fit together by default. So much that it can be scary. Literally. But she got over that after a month or two. Mostly.
  • Every precious and wonderful part of life also needs a challenge, to ensure it feels earned…or one might not appreciate it sufficiently. To not take things for granted, one must be kept on their toes a bit.
    • In our case, it is my hope to someday earn the acceptance and trust of her hair, so that I may be allowed to sleep next to her or cuddle with her and not be more than occasionally assaulted and regulated by any but the most ferocious of her curls.

The Cons of Rhonda

We have been unable to determine what, if any, flaws Kaz has identified in Rhonda. Sure, she sounds perfect, but surely it’s a coverup! We have therefore submitted a Freedom of Information request to the proper authorities, and hope to unco

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\* Hey now, this is a family-oriented page

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